Legend of the Icy Hot Ninja
by Spidey3000
Summary: A boy named Jack J. Williams is now a Genin. His teammates: his best friend Ryu and a seemingly normal girl named Amanda. Together they will grow into legendary ninjas, along side another team, a team called Team 7, made of Naruto, Sasuke, and Hinata...
1. 4 L337 B361NN1N6

**A/N: New story from me to you! It's about my OC, Jack J. Williams. Enjoy. **

Jack J. Williams jumped out of bed, excited about his first day as a Genin. _I can't wait to meet my sensai! _he thought, before going down stairs for breakfast.

"Morning mom, morning dad," he said, sitting down at the table, and eating his breakfast with a speed that surpassed most DBZ characters. Ash J. Williams smiled at his son's over-eagerness. His smile reflected his totally irrelevant resemblance to Bruce Campell...which was totally a coincidence! There's no copyright infringement here!

"Morning," he said. "What's your hurry?"

Jack looked up from his meal, and took a breath of air. "Today I'm gonna find out who my teammates are!"

Ash laughed. "You've got another hour," he said. "So, who do you hope to be your teammates?" he asked.

Jack stopped for another minute. "Ryu, and Naruto! They're my best friends in the whole village! I wouldn't mind being on a team with Jesse and James though," he said, while somehow still eating at a rate that would put Goku to shame.

Jack's mom, Linda Williams, sighed. "Jack, don't talk with your mouth full," she said.

Jack rolled his eyes. "Yes mother," he said before rushing at the door.

"Have you brushed your teeth?" She asked.

"No," said Jack.

"Then go brush them!" said his mom.

"Fine I'll do it," he said. He then walked into the bathroom, muttering in some strange devil language that sounded like: "0M6, 1F 1'M L473! 7H3R3 60NN4 M4K3 7H3 734M5 W17H0U7 M3, 7H3N 7H3Y'R3 60NN4 54Y '50RRY J4CK, 4LL 7H3 R3L148L3 9309L3 4R3 74K3N. Y0U'R3 57UCK W17H 1N0 4ND 54KUR4!' 4ND 7H053 1D1075 W1LL 637 M3 K1LLL3D 4ND 17'LL 83 4LL MY M0M'5 F4UL7 F0R M4K1N6 M3 L4TE!"

After brushing his teeth, he started to rush out again, but his mom stopped him...again.

"And comb your hair!" said Linda.

Jack rolled his eyes. "I never comb my hair unless it's sticking up, you know this!"

Linda smiled, and whispered into his ear. "It's sticking up..."

"DANG IT!" Jack ran into the bathroom. From outside, Linda could here him muttering in that language again.

"D4MN Y0U H41R, D4MN Y0U 1 54Y! WH47 Y0U D0 F0R J4CK?"

Jack walked out of the bathroom one more time. "There, can I go now?" he asked, almost pleading.

Linda smiled. "Yeah, but..."

"THANKS MOM!" he ran out the door.

"...you still have twenty minutes,"

**A/N: Sorry for the slow beginning, but I can't think of much to write at the moment. This story takes place during the timeline of the manga, but with new OCs, and slightly altered teams. And there will be more ninja-fied characters, like Ash and Linda. Please R&R! **


	2. Cows, fangirls, and love

**I'm back, with yet another chapter! Enjoy...**

Jack ran into the classroom where the teams would be announced, filled with excitement! He couldn't wait to find out who his teammates would be!

About five minutes later, he was bored. And when Jack was bored, Sasuke had a very bad day...

"Hey Sasuke," said Jack.

"What do you want?" said Sasuke angstfully.

"What's a cow doing in here?"

Sasuke jumped under the desk, and looked around.

"Cow? Where?" he looked around the room, searching for the avatar of horror.

Jack laughed. "Ha, you fell for it again!"

Sasuke's eyes turned red with the sharingan. "Damn it Jack, that's the third time this week!"

"It's not my fault you're afraid of cows!" Said Jack.

Sasuke glared at him. "I'm not afraid of cows...I just don't like them..."

Sasuke then heard heard a loud "MOOOO" from behind him. He turned slowly around to see a cow, standing right behind him.

"MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!!!!" he screamed in a rather girly fashion, and jumped in to the air, sticking to the ceiling.

Naruto took the cow mask off, and laughed.

"What are you doing here, dobe?" said Sasuke.

"Waiting for my team to get announced, teme," said Naruto.

They both glared at eachother, causing electricity to come out of their eyes anime style.

An innocent moth flew between them, and was fried.

Shino looked at the moth's fried body, and a single tear ran down his face. "Rest in peace, brother moth..." he said, silently holding a funeral for the moth.

At that point, Sakura tackled Naruto.

"How dare you torment Sasuke with a cow mask!" she said, while punching him.

Jack rushed to help, but was tackled by Ino.

"How dare you exploit Sasuke's...phobias!" she yelled, punching him several times.

"It's not my fault he's afraid of cows!" said Jack.

"It is so your fault! If you, Naruto and Ryu hadn't played the prank on him several years ago..."

FLASHBACK!!!

Naruto and Jack hid behind a building, and laughed. "He'll never know what hit him!" said Jack. "Too bad Ryu's not here to help, but he's still grounded from the last prank..."

Naruto nodded. "Did you bring the cow?"

Jack nodded, pointing to the cow behind him.

"Strange i didn't notice that earlier..." said Naruto.

Jack shrugged. "Did you bring the Icy Hot?"

Naruto nodded, pulling out some Icy Hot.

Naruto looked around the corner, and saw Sasuke coming, then looked back.

"OK, we'll put operation: Life Scarring into action on three. 1...2...3"

Jack and Naruto jumped out and

**A/N: Sorry, this scene has been censored by the FCC.**

Iruka glared at Naruto and Jack with his arms crossed.

"What did you do to Sas-ga...I mean Sasuke?" he asked, pointing to Sasuke, who was in the fetal position, muttering something about cows being the bastard spawn of Satan.

Jack and Naruto shuffled their feet, and explained the prank to Iruka.

Iruka choked back laughter. "That's hilariou...I mean horrible! I hope to see you both in detention, starting when school starts again, if i remember it! See you when summer vacation is over..." Iruka walked away.

Jack looked to Naruto and smiled.

Naruto smiled back.

"This is gonna be the best summer ever!"

And it was.

END OF FLASHBACK!!!!

Ryu walked into the room.

"Hi Jack, Naruto, Ino, Sakura, Sas-gay, Shino," he said politely.

"Hi Ryu!" said Sakura and Ino, despite the fact that he'd just dissed Sasuke. He was rather popular with crazed fangirls.

"Wuzz up Ryu?" said Jack.

"Nothin' much, wuzz up with you Jack?" said Ryu.

"Sakura's fist...oh shi..." answered Jack, before Ino punched him again.

"Hey Ryu!" said Naruto. "I'm a genin now! Dattebayo...ow!" he said, as Sakura hit him.

"Hey Naruto, glad to here that!" he said.

"Hn. I'm not afraid of cows!" said Sasuke.

"Then why are you hanging from the ceiling..OW!!!" said Jack, before Ino punched him again. "If Sasuke-kun says he's not afraid of cows, then he's not afraid of cows!" she said.

"I was...um...preparing to attack," said Sasuke, who was kind of in denial about his fear of cows...not that he was afraid of cows of course! He was totally preparing to attack! He's totally not holding a knife at the author's throat right now!

At that moment, Iruka arrived in the room, holding a cup of coffee. "Good morning class, today you will be assigned your..." he looked around to see the chaos that had ensued. "You know, not everyone is here, i think I'll go wait outside for the others.

"HELP!" yelled Jack, before getting punched again. "Look, Sasuke's shlong is hanging out!" he said.

Ino looked, and turned back around to see that Jack was gone.

"Damn it! Why do i always fall for that!" said Ino, looking around for Jack, who was hiding on the ceiling above her.

"Hey, get your own hiding place!" said Sasuke.

"OK!" said jack, henging into a cow.

"Meep!" said Sasuke, before letting go of the ceiling. He landed right between Ino and Sakura.

"Dang it, when I get my hands on Jack I'm going to..."

GLOMP!!!

Sakura and Ino both glomped Sasuke...at the same time.

"My Uchiha spleen!" said Sasuke.

"Get off Sasuke Ino! There's no pigs aloud!" said Sakura.

"Let go, billboard brow!" said Ino.

They began to glare at eachother.

"Oh shnap..." said Sasuke, before Sakura and Ino both grabbed one of his arms, and fought over him childishly.

"My Uchiha shoulder joints!"

At that moment, the rest of the characters arrived in the room.

"Women are troublesome," said Shikamaru.

"No argument there," said Chouji.

Hinata tried to intervene. "T-there's n-no n-need to f-fight," she said.

Ino and Sakura glared at her, and she backed down.

"It's pointless," said Kiba. "They'll only quit if they get distracted by something else...or when Spidey get's tired of making jokes about Sasuke getting injured by them in this chapter," he said. Akamaru barked in agreement.

"That dog looks tasty..." said Chouji, licking his lips in an extremely disturbing fashion.

"...?!" Kiba backed the hell away from Chouji, and Akamaru hid in his coat.

At that moment, a girl with long blond hair, wolf-like violet eyes, clawed fingers, and a wearing t-shirt and blue jeans (I'm not original with outfits.) walked into the room in slow motion.

Ryu stared at her, with wide eyes, and she stared at him. Their eyes met, as if they were made to be paired in a badly written fanfiction.

"Hi," she said, in a soft but confident voice.

"Hi Amanda!" said Jack. "How's it going?"

Amanda smiled. "Hi Jack," she said.

Ryu looked from Jack to Amanda, and back at Amanda.

"Are you gonna introduce me to your friend?" asked both Amanda and Ryu at the same time.

Jack nodded. "Amanda, meet Ryu; Ryu, meet Amanda,"

Ryu went to shake hands with her. "P-pleased to m-meet you," he said.

Amanda smiled. "Nice to meet you too,"

In his mind, Ryu was going thinking: _She thinks it's nice to meet me...SCORE!!!_

At that moment, Iruka walked in.

"Now that you aren't trying to kill eachother, I shall announce the teams," he said.

Everyone listened intently.

"Team 7, Naruto, Hinata, and Sasuke," he said.

Several gasps were heard in the room.

"Team 8, Kiba, Sakura, and Shino," continued Iruka, causing more shock.

Jack dropped from the ceiling. Sakura and Ino dropped Sasuke. Kiba dropped Akamaru...but caught him. Shino just stood their, not reacting.

"Team 10 shall me Shikamaru, Ino and Chouji!"

Shikamaru shrugged, having already guessed who he was gonna be teamed up with. Chouji cheered, and Ino fainted from shock.

"And Team 11 will be Jack J. Williams, Ryu Kenshin, and Amanda..."

Someone in the room flatulated loudly, obscurring the last name.

"I blame the author..." said Chouji.

"YES!!!" said Ryu, realizing that he was on a team with Amanda, though he h

"We're on a team together!" Said Jack.

"Wait, you're on my team too? That's also awesome!" said Ryu, who hadn't noticed that his best friend was also on his team.

"I know most of you are shocked...and some of you are too injured to have been paying attention..."

Sasuke was definately in the last category. He laid there, waiting for the medical attention he desperately needed. "Somebody...help me..."

Iruka ignored him and continued, and continued.

"...but I'm sure all of you will get to know eachother, and will eventually learn to work together as an indestructible force...well, except for those of you who get eliminated...but you'll discuss that with your senseis tommoro! It's been an honor teaching each and every one of you...except for Sasuke, he was a pain in the arse, but the rest of you were ok," he yawned. "Well, come back tommorrow to meet your new sensei!"

"Wait, tommorrow? What the hell is wrong with this system?!" exclaimed Jack.

Iruka shrugged. "Blame the author..." a random piece of the ceiling broke off and hit Iruka in the head. "Not to offend him or anything!" yelled Iruka loudly, looking up.

Naruto stared at Iruka. "what's wrong with Iruka-sensei?" he asked.

Jack shrugged. "I guess after years of teaching, he finally snapped,"

And so, the possible future Genin walked home, each wondering what their sensei would be like.

**A/N: Will Jack's sensei be relatively sane? Will Kakashi's bell test be a hundred times easier without a certain incompetant pink haired weakling? Will Sasuke over come his fear of cows? All these questions will be answered in the next chapter of..."Legend of The Icy Hot Ninja!"**


	3. Rama Ayama

**A/N: Though I didn't get many reviews for the second chapter, I'm going to continue this anyway! Next chapter I'll crack down and ask for at least three, but today I feel like updating! **

The next morning, Jack rushed towards the room where he was to meet his new sensei.

_I'll bet he's really strong...and powerful...and hopefully, he won't be some insane old friend of my fathers that I've never met for unexplained reasons! _he thought. Unfortunately for Jack, he'd never really had much education in literature in the academy, so he didn' t know what forshadowing was.

Meanwhile, in the classroom, Amanda and Ryu were trying to make conversation...and failing.

"So...seen any good movies?" said Ryu.

Amanda shook her head. "No...seen any crappy movies?"

Ryu shook his head. "No..."

Amanda sighed, trying to think what would get Ryu talking.

Ryu sighed, trying to think what would get Amanda talking.

"Do you like...gardening?" asked Amanda.

Ryu shook his head. "No...but my friend Naruto does..."

Another topic gone dry, though it at least got Ryu a little bit past the word no.

Ryu suddenly thought of the most brilliant idea.

"Do you read Icha Icha?" he asked.

Amanda looked infuriated. "OF COURSE NOT! WHY WOULD I..."

"Neither do I!" said Ryu.

Amanda looked confused for a second.

"I don't know what people see in it! I mean, COME ON! It's just smut..."

Somewhere in the village, Kakashi felt an inexplicable urge to kill someone named Ryu, but couldn't tell why. He shrugged it off, deciding it must be gas.

Back in the room, Amanda nodded, now genuinely interested in what Ryu was saying.

"I know what you mean...back when i was three, my mom asked this guy with silvery hair to baby sit me while she and my dad went on a date, and all he did was read Icha Icha! He even managed to watch Icha Icha and cook at the same time! He even read out of it for a bed time story!"

Ryu laughed...but then immediately stopped, realizing that she probably didn't mean it to be funny...but was suprised when she giggled lightly.

"It was kinda funny after I got over the life scarring," she said.

_He's really a nice guy...and kinda cute...I wonder what he's thinking now? It's probably something deep and profound... _thought Amanda.

_I finally got her talking...DOUBLE SCORE!!! _thought Ryu.

Ryu, at that moment, began to muster his courage. He was gonna do it: he was gonna ask a girl out. He had never asked a girl out before, or even been attracted to anyone, being twelve and all.

"Amanda, would you like to..."

At that moment, Jack burst into the room excitedly.

"Where is he?" asked Jack, excitedly.

Ryu suddenly felt an urge to kill his best friend.

"He's not here yet," said Amanda, before turning back to Ryu. "What was it you were about to say?"

Ryu's courage, unfortunately, was gone, as if some cruel author was teasing him with the idea of him and her together, but had decided not to put them in a relationship yet.

"Um...wanna..um...train together? I'm sure you're really...um...strong! We'd help eachother alot!" he said, hating himself for losing his courage so quickly.

"Oh...sure," said Amanda, disapointedly. She'd thought he was going to ask her out or something.

_I should have known that there's no way a guy like Ryu would ever consider going out with me... _she thought.

Amanda's uncharacteristic moment of angst was interrupted when a man wearing a jonin vest entered the room.

He had spiky black hair, a goatee, and wore a pair of sunglasses that hid his eyes.

"Hello future students," he said, in an enthusiastic voice. "My name is Rama Ayama and I am to be your sensai from now on!"

"Um...hi," said Jack, not sure of what to make of him.

"Hello," said Ryu.

"hi," said Amanda.

Rama smiled. "Well, how about you all introduce yourselves, and tell me a little bit about you," he said.

"I'll go first: My name is Rama Ayama, I like to stare at the clouds, and anything with sugar in it! I dislike people that quit easily. My dream is to get out of a certain...commitment that my mother and father made for me,"

Rama looked at his three genin.

"Who wants to go next?"

Jack got up. "My name is Jack J. Williams, I like pizza and rootbeer, and pulling pranks with Naruto and Ryu. I dislike people that bully people cause they have insecurities. My dream is to become a legendary ninja!"

Rama smiled. _This one reminds me of myself at his age... _

Ryu stood up next. "My name is Ryu Kenshin, I like doughnuts and coffee, and pulling pranks on Sasuke. I dislike opressive ninja clans that think their bloodline gives them an excuse to control their own family's lives! My dream is to not get forced out of the village for crimes I didn't commit because of my Bya...my bloodline,"

Rama nodded. _Clearly the type who's been secretly hiding a bloodline of some sort that belongs to a powerful clan that he doesn't want to be forced to join. _

Amanda got up last. "My name is Amanda..." At that moment, a stampede of horses ran through the street, obscurring the last name. "...and I Iike doughnuts and coffee as well, along with gardening, and pizza. I dislike people that are mean to others for stupid reasons! My dream is to become an ANBU captain!"

Rama yawned. _She's the female of the group...she and Ryu seem to get along well...too well, as if they were made to be paired in a badly written fanfiction...oh well, I'm sure nothing will come of it! _

Rama looked at his team, and smiled. "Well, it's been nice meeting you all, but it's time to go home. Tomorrow is a big day for you..."

"TOMORROW? WHAT THE HECK?!" said Jack.

Rama sighed. "Yes, tomorrow. The day that comes right after today you shall have a...test of sorts. You could say that it's sort of a test to see what you can do, and to see what you need to improve,"

_You could also say that it's to see whether or not your going back to the Academy, but I won't tell them that... _he thought.

"Be sure to get as much sleep as possible! You'll need it! You might wanna skip Breakfast though..."

**A/N: EGAD! What does Rama have in store for them... Yeah, I'm pretty sure you already know what it is, so I'm not gonna bother with suspense...R&R, as us Authors are hungry monsters, and we must feed on Reviews to live! **


	4. A suspecting victim

**A/N: Well, heres another chapter. Enjoy it. **

Jack, Ryu and Amanda waited patiently for their sensei to arrive at the place he told them to meet him.

"When is he gonna get here?" asked Jack.

"When he gets off his lazy butt and gets here," said Ryu.

Jack suddenly had a brilliant idea. If he'd been a cartoon character, a lightbulb would have appeared over his head.

"Ryu, do you happen to have a sling shot, a bannana and some Icy Hot?" he asked.

Ryu shook his head rather sadly. "No, I forgot to bring them today,"

Jack sighed. It had been such a brilliant idea, along with the ultimate prank, and even a possible defense against fangirls, and Ryu REALLY needed one of those. His fanclub wasn't quite as large as Sasuke's, but it was a close second.

"Well...looks like we'll have to try that possible prank/fangirl defense later...why don't we set up a prank for Rama-sensei to walk into?" said Jack.

Ryu smiled rather malovently. "Well, he DOES deserve it for being late. And I know you've got some Icy Hot..."

Jack shook his head. "No, I've got plans for the Icy Hot, like finding a way to apply it rapidly to the enemy,"

Ryu rolled his eyes at Jack's crazy dreams. "Jack, Icy Hot is more of a weapon for torture and interrogation, not for anything else..."

Jack shook his head. "It's also good for pranking, initiation rituals, and was originally made to heal muscle soreness, though it seems rather counterproductive to put something that causes excruciating burning pain to a place that's sore...but can we get back to pranking our sensei?"

Amanda raised an eyebrow. "Wait, wouldn't it be stupid to prank someone that is probably strong enough to kick our arses acrossed Konoha?"

"Yeah...but that's never stopped us before!" said Jack.

"I wash my hands of this," said Amanda.

"Actually, we could benifit mutually from this. You see, our sensei is probably gonna test our ninja skills, and we can show him some of our tactical thinking abilities by pranking him. Besides, it looked like he had a sense of humor,"

Amanda smiled. "Never thought of it that way..." Amanda reached into her pocket and pulled out something that made Jack get to his knees and bow. He wasn't worthy to see such a wonderful invention. If he got too close, he would be smited for his disrespect to all things that are pranking.

Amanda was holding a can of Icy Hot spray.

"I-i didn't know they even had spray cans for Icy Hot," said Ryu.

Amanda smiled. "My foster parents own some shares in Icy Hot, and they invent new ways of applying it, like Icy Hot gel, and those Icy Hot pads. However, they're aware of the fact that Icy Hot is used more for pranks, and have worked to make it easier to apply," she said. "Unfortunately, the company publicly denies knowledge of their product being anything but a pain reliever, so the Icy Hot spray was never really mass-produced. The particular Icy Hot in this can doesn't need much in the way of rubbing in, and burns even harder...it was never mass produced either,"

"I thought it was only a legend..." said Jack. "The legendary Icy hot is fabled amoung us pranksters,"

"So, shall we get pranking?" to Amanda's suprise, Jack and Ryu shook their heads.

"If there's one can of that stuff in the world, then it would be wasteful to use it in this prank," said Jack.

"Yeah, we should save it for something big, like maybe pranking those villagers that kept trying to kill Naruto in angry mobs back in the academy," said Ryu.

"I memorized some of their faces!" said Jack.

"We'll search throughout Konoha till we find them!" said Ryu.

"Can we please get back to the prank at hand?" asked Amanda.

"Right," said Jack.

"Sorry," said Ryu.

"Well, if we're not gonna use the Icy Hot, what CAN we do?" asked Amanda.

"Well, we could bring back the classic prank that we always used to pull on Sasuke!" said Jack.

"Oh yeah! I totally forgot about that one!" said Jack.

"Care to fill me in?" said Amanda.

"No, that would be a long flashback," said Ryu.

"I thought Spidey liked flashbacks?" said Amanda.

"Yeah, but...wait, what are we talking about?"

"I don't remember," said Amanda.

"Well, we'll just tell you everything we need for the prank..."

OOOOOOO

Rama smiled, knowing the genin would be planning a prank right about now, hopefully one that would hide the prankster. He sighed. "Well, I'll give them a little more time to set it up. Then he'd be onto them.

**A/N: Guess what? I had a really long, dramatic flashback to when Naruto, Ryu, and Jack were only 7, but it was too dramatic to use for this, not to mention extremely long. I think I'll use that for a side-story if this has enough success. **

**Sasuke: Yay, I'm not in this chapter! Or the next couple of chapters! **

**Spidey: Why are you cheering at that? **

**Sasuke: Cause when you write, I get hurt! **

**Spidey: Oh, well I'll have to fix that. -snaps fingers, and Sakura appears- **

**Sasuke: Oh shnap! -runs for his life- **

**Sakura: SAS-KAY-KUN! -chases him- **

**Spidey: By the way, I have found that I have a bad habbit of stealing jokes from Skullblade...but he's allowed to steal mine to. The person that tells me the amount of jokes i stole per chapter gets to have their user name appear in a cameo in the next chapter! Oh, and Skull is on my favorite authors list...and will probably be the one that figures it out. By the way, i went a whole chapter without stealing jokes from Skull today! I'm proud of myself. Please R&R! **


	5. Rama's test

**A/N: I haven't done a disclaimer yet. If I owned Naruto, Sasuke would give up his emoness, Naruto and Hinata would have been on a team together, Jack would be a cannon character, and Sakura would have stopped being a...witch before shippuden. However, i do own a stain in my basement that sort of looks like Orochimaru. It's story time...**

00000

It was mid-afternoon. The sky cloudy enough that you could barely see your own shadow. It would have been perfect conditions for someone that was using some sort of camoflauge jutsu to sneak up on someone and didn't want their shadow to give them away.

Rama walked up to his three students, who seemed to be waiting patiently for him on a bench near the training grounds.

"Hey, sorry I'm late, but i just found out that that new movie was coming out, and i just HAD to go see it," he said, knowing this answer would push them just far enough to actually pull off the prank.

Amanda's eye seemed to be twitching, but she walked up, smiling.

"That's Ok, Rama sensei," she said. "Let's get training!"

"Alright!" said Jack.

"Well...guess you guys are a bit excited," said Rama, following Amanda.

She stopped and waited when she reached the grass.

Rama sighed. He'd already had this prank pulled on him by none other than his teammate, Ash J. Williams. None the lest, he walked up to where she was standing.

"Hey sensei," said Jack.

"Yes Jack?" said Rama. _ You idiot, my shoes are tied and my fly is zipped so! Geez, if you're gonna steal a prank, at least come up with an original line! _

"Have you ever played Street Fighter?" said Jack.

"Huh?" Rama said.

Suddenly, Ken, from Street Fighter, exploded from the ground, and hit him in the jaw.

"Sharyuken!" he yelled.

Rama smiled, and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"What the..." said the video game character.

Rama materialized before him. "Sorry buddy, but I've been hit with something very similar to that!" he said, kicking him in the stomach.

"Lightning Style: Thunder!" he yelled.

'Ken' was stuck by a small yet powerful bolt of lightning, and disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"So...who's idea was it to pull this prank? I won't punish the accomplices..." said Rama, sounding for all the world like he was extremely ticked off about the prank. He looked scaryer than Hinata on a sugar high, which was extremely scary. Heck, he was even scaryer than Sasuke when he randomly started talking in his creepy British accent!

The genin were silent, not wanting to get caught, but not wanting to tell on their teammate...or tell on themselves in Jack's case.

"OK, then you all get your arses thrown back into the academy for another year!"

This made them start to sweat.

Amanda spoke up. "It was..." she glanced at Jack, but glanced back at Rama. "It was me! I thought up the whole thing! Jack and Ryu weren't even involved!"

"Well," said Rama, knowing the girl was lying. "Better luck next year..."

"NO!" said Ryu. "I did it! I planned the whole thing, and i threatened Jack and Amanda with...um...blackmail if they didn't do it!"

Rama sighed. "Well...unless one of you can proove that you did it, you'll both have to..."

Jack spoke up as well. "NO! I DID IT! THEY'RE JUST DEFENDING ME CAUSE THEY'RE MY FRIENDS! I'M THE ONE THAT SHOULD GO BACK!"

"Can you prove it?" asked Rama.

"Kage Bunshin no jutsu!" said jack, creating a Kage Bunshin. "Henge no jutsu!" The bunshin turned into Ken, from Street Fighter.

"Well Jack, Ryu, Amanda, all I can say is..." He paused, letting the suspense build.

Jack's head was down cast; he couldn't believe he'd blown his chance at pranking by pulling a stupid prank like that.

"...you all passed my test!" said Rama.

"Huh?" said all three of them at the same time, even harmonizing.

"You all could have let your teammates go back to the academy, but willingly sacrificed your own wishes for what you thought was best for your teammates! Those who betray their comrades for their own gain, should never have comrades!" he said, rather passionately.

"So...it was a test?" said Jack.

"Yes," said Kamina. "I would have sent all three of you back to the academy, if Amanda had been the only one that spoke up," he said. "Cause I knew for a fact that Jack did it,"

"Wait, how did you know?" said Jack.

"Your father and I were teammates during our genin days,"

Thud.

Jack was on the ground, unconcious.

"Um...Jack?" said Ryu.

"He knows my dad... he and my dad are connected..." said Jack.

Rama laughed. "Don't worry, I won't rat you out," he said. "Even if you single-handedly cause us to fail the mission with one horrible screw up, I'm not gonna tell your dad," he said.

Jack had a rather freaked out look on his face for the rest of the day.

00000

**A/N: Well, that was their test. This chapter wasn't as random as usual, but they aren't all gonna be as random as chapter 2! however, all the chapters will have some degree of randomness. **


	6. Roundhouse arsekicking

**A/N: I don't know why I need an author's note to start all my chapters...but i do, so here it is! Oh, and the "Borrowed" jokes last chapter were "Hinata is VERY scary when she's on sugar" and "Sasuke when he randomly started talking in his creepy British accent". Enjoy. **

**00000000000000000**

At a training ground that spidey didn't really want to think of a name for, Team Rama was awaiting instructions from their sensei...well, OK, i guess Rama was technically part of Team Rama, and thus not waiting for orders from himself, but that's not really important. Can we please get to the plot now? 

"So...are you gonna teach us some cool jutsu?" said Jack, rather exitedly. 

"No," said Rama. "Not yet anyway," 

"How about some cool ways to conceal a bloodline that you must keep secret lest you be forced to join a clan run by control freaks and deprived of freedom by a certain seal that i won't mention?" said Ryu. He then looked around, realizing that everyone was staring at him suspiciously, and smiled rather ackwardly. "Not that I would ever want to do that! I totally don't have any bloodlines besides Eiwotoru!" 

"Er...wear sunglasses?" said Rama. 

Ryu paused. "...IT'S GENIOUS! Why did I never think of that...I mean...why didn't my anonymous friend who has a secret kekki gekki that he needs to hide think of that?"

"Right..." said Rama. 

"Are we gonna learn how to improve our chakra control, and maybe work on our genjutsu, taijutsu, and ninjutsu?" said Amanda. 

"Yeah, that's something we'll be doing alot...but not today!" said Rama. "Today, I'm going to have you fight a powerful opponent, to...um...test your skills!"

"Cool," said Jack, not questioning this explanation at all. 

"Alright," said Ryu, expecting to fight Rama sensei. 

"You really think highly of yourself, don't you?" said Amanda. 

"Actually...yes, but i'm not the person you're gonna be fighting!" said Rama. "Though you will have the task of getting this bag of popcorn out of my hands before i eat it all..." 

Rama suddenly reached out and grabbed someone's arm, right before the fist of said person could connect with his face. Said fist was engulfed in flames. 

"Did I say you could start?" said Rama. 

"Sorry, I thought you telling us the time limit was our cue to start," said Jack, smiling ackwardly. 

"Well, at least you weren't alone in that assumption," said Rama, holding up Ryu with his other hand. Ryu happened to be holding a Katana. 

"I have no excuse," said Ryu. "I saw Jack about to do something stupid, and possibly suicidal, and I felt I should help,"

Amanda was in the same place she'd been standing to begin with, reading a book. 

"We should listen to her more often," said Ryu. 

"How is it she was able to THINK in such a situation?" said Jack. 

"She doesn't have abnormally high levels of testosterone," said Rama. "In fact, she doesn't even have testosterone," 

"What's testosterone?" said Ryu. 

"It's the stuff that makes us guys act smart!" said Jack. "but sometimes it betrays us and makes us act stupid, like just now...then again, we didn't have to listen to it. Maybe testosterone isn't such a good thing to think wi...what were we talking about?" 

Rama sighed. Apparently, Naruto wasn't the only person in the village that suffered from ADHD. If Ryu or Amanda had it, he'd think it was contagious. 

"Never mind, let's just get started, shall we?" he said, throwing Jack and Ryu back to wear they were, and pulling out a summoning scroll. 

"Summoning Style: Celebrity Enslavement!" said Rama.

Suddenly, in a puff of smoke, Chuck Norris appeared. 

"Great, I've been summoned again," he said. "What the hell do you want now..." 

Chuck turned around to deliver a mighty round house kick, knocking back Jack and Ryu, who had decided that their brilliant plan might work better if they used i on the person they were supposed to be fighting, while his back was turned, and he didn't even know they were his opponents. 

"Jack, Ryu, will you please have some damned patients?" said Rama. "Anyway Chuck, this is a training excersize for those three, in which they'll have to go through you, then get this back of popcorn from my hands, before I eat all the popcorn," 

Jack, Ryu, and Amanda were already conspiring, as they waited impatiently for the signal to start. 

"The test will start when I open the bag, like so..." said Rama, opening the bag to demonstrate. 

"Wait, you already opened the..." Chuck caught several thousand kunai, which were thrown by Ryu, then dodged a swing from the huge sword that Jack carried...FF8 huge, not FF7 huge...I believe I mentioned it in his character description...I DID give a character description, right? Crap, well, we'll worry about that later! Back to the story! 

Chuck kicked Jack away, causing the genin to collide with a tree branch, then fall face down on the ground.

"Looks like Jack could work on his skills of deception," said Rama, who was now sitting in a mysteriously acquired lawn chair. 

"Ha, some shinobi you are!" said Chuck, laughing at the genin. 

then turned to kick away Ryu...only to find that Ryu too close to him to be hit by a round house kick. 

"I have you now...I can't think of a good nickname for you. That's Jack's department," said Ryu, blocking Chuck's round house kick in mid-air, and using it to flip him over, and tried hit him between the legs with a mysteriously acquired baseball bat. 

Chuck, however, caught the bat with his legs, flipped back over, so that he was now right side up, and Ryu was upside down, and punched the Genin in the stomach several times. 

"Let's see if your balls have dropped!" said Chuck, punching Ryu between the legs. 

Ryu's face twisted at the extreme pain that he'd never felt before. 

Chuck smiled malovently. "I'll take that as a yes!" 

Ryu's baseball bat disappeared in a puff of smoke, and Chuck landed on his feet. 

Right before Ryu's head hit the ground, Chuck punched him extremely hard, knocking him several feet back. Ryu crashed into a tree, knocking it over. 

Said tree landed on random beetle. 

"Shino would be SO pissed at you if he knew about that beetle," said Ryu, before losing conciousness.

"I don't know this Shino kid, or how you knew about a beetle that was BEHIND you, but he wouldn't have minded, cause I'm Chuck Norris, and nobody opposes Chuck Norris!" said Chuck. 

Meanwhile, at the Team 8 training Ground...

Shino sneezed, then a tear ran down his face.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" said Sakura, bitchily. 

"One of my insects has moved on," said Shino. "I shall miss you, Bob! I should never have sent you to spy on the other teams. You were so young," Shino then got a scary look in his eyes. "I will avenge you death!" 

Sakura and Kiba backed the heck away from Shino. 

"Let's never piss him off again," said Sakura. 

"I can't promise that," said Kiba.

Back with Jack...

Rama, who had somehow acquired a drinking cap, winced. 

"Wow, he didn't have to psychologically attack someone that wasn't even on my team...maybe i should have told them that Jackie Chan is the only known fighter that can take on Chuck Norris. Ah well, they've got him outnumbered...then again, the teamwork on this team is kinda lacking. I'll need to improve that!" he said, taking a sip from the straw on his hat, which was filled with Rootbeer and not alcohat by the way. He's not THAT bad a sensei. Don't drink and use ninjutsu. The ANBU will bust you! You drink, you use henge jutsu, you get caught! A message from the Village of Konoha ANBU. 

Amanda hid in a tree, looking for Chuck's weakness.

"With my lack of jutsu, I'm not match for this guy," said Amanda. "I wonder how Rama expects us to beat him..." she looked at Rama. 

Rama now had a girl on either side of him. 

"Rama, shouldn't you be watching them?" said Girl #1. 

"You shouldn't question his judgement, Aya!" said Girl #2. 

"It's alright, I left my genin in the capable hands of Chuck Norris," said Rama. 

"Sorry Rama!" said Aya. "You're such a good sensei!" 

"Yeah, who ELSE gets CHUCK NORRIS to help train his students for them?" said Maya, previously known as Girl #2. 

"Well...I'm the only one that doesn't have to pay money for it!" said Rama.

The girls laughed, as if he'd actually said something funny. 

Meanwhile, Amanda jumped out of the tree, and grabbed Ryu's unconcious form, then grabbed Jack. 

"He's too powerful for us," she said. "We should retreat for now, then come up with a plan to kick his arse!" she said. 

"I'm pretty sure he's eaten that popcorn by now," said Jack. 

"No, at the moment he's busy with the root beer cap and the hot girls," said Amanda. "I haven't seen him take a bite in a while now," 

"We have to think of a plan!" said Jack. 

"I think I've got one," said Amanda, whispering in their ears. 

000000000000

Suddenly, Chuck Norris jumped down from a tree branch, landing behind the unsuspecting Genin. 

"Time to end this so I can go do Republican Party related things!" said Chuck. 

"You're going down!" said Ryu. 

"You haven't even FOUGHT me yet," said Amanda.

Jack got into a fighting stance, followed by his two teammates. 

He then unknowingly said the famous last words that his father had used many times: "Come get some!" 

**A/N: Spidey needs sleep now! Spidey will try to post this chapter before he goes to bed. Spidey is a good boy. -falls asleep on desk- **

**Jack: -slaps face- Well, I guess I better get Spidey to bed. **

**Ryu: Not again! **

**Amanda: At least he doesn't grab things in his slee...**

**Spidey: -unconciously grabs Amanda and snuggles against her- **

**Amanda: -creeped out- Well... this is certainly an interesting situation. While I try to get Spidey off me, you guys R&R!**


	7. The Tree ran into Chuck Norris!

**Sorry for the wait, but my brain has been refusing to work with me everytime I tried to type...in fact, it still is! Dang brain, get back to the chapter! **

**Brain: But I don't wanna...**

**Do it for the fans! **

**Brain: Um...no! **

**I'll read a book! **

**Brain: FOOD! Alright...I'll do it! But you have to read that book, and quit staying up late! **

**Disclaimer: If I owned Naruto, it would be badly drawn and the plot would suck! **

**Enjoy...**

**00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000**

Jack, Amanda, and Ryu prepared to face the worlds most over-rated martial artist.

"You don't have a chance against me!" said Chuck. "I'm Chuck fricking Norris!"

Ryu threw several kunai at Chuck, which he dodged.

Jack did some hand signs. "Summoning no jutsu!"

A small creature that somewhat resembled Rodan appeared, and attacked Chuck, pecking at his eyes.

"What the hell is a pterradactyl gonna do?" said Chuck, fending off the attacks with his arm.

"I'm a pterrandodan, byotch! My daddy would eat you if you refered to him as a pterradactyl!" said the little summon.

"Got you!" said Jack, jumping at him with is sword drawn, followed by Amanda.

"Spinning Death Roundhouse Kick!" said Chuck, Spilling faster than Taz while executing a perfect roundhouse kick. However, this was just what they wanted him to do.

Suddenly, he tied up and tangled up by several string, which were to several shuriken that Ryu had thrown while Chuck was distracted by Jack, Amanda, and Jack's summon.

The other end was attached to several barbed kunai, which Ryu had stabbed into a tree behind him.

"How the heck did you do this?" said Chuck.

"Well...Jack, care to explain?" said Amanda.

"I'd be glad too!" said Jack. "You see, after our failed assault , Amanda managed to find us both, and told us that we'd have to work together to take you down,"

Amanda nodded, as she had indeed done that.

"Based on our knowledge from the unsuccessful assaults we performed on you, we gathered that you always roundhouse kick in a certain direction, and that you seem to be less alert whilst you round house kick. So of course, we figured out a plan to exploit that," Jack paused, taking a breath.

"That's where Ryu came in! He created several shuriken, the barbed kunai, the sting, and the exploding tag, and threw the kunai while you were busy attacking us, in an arc that would coincide with you the moment you started spinning, and all me and Amanda had to do was distract you, and force you to use the roundhouse kick!"

Ryu smiled proudly; he'd had to guess the angle of the throw himself, and that hadn't been easy.

"Oh, and I knew about your Spinning Death Roundhouse Kick from watching T.V., and knew that it sucked nearby opponents towards you, which is how we were able to guess we could use it to suck something that you wouldn't be able to knock away with your momentum towards you...Amanda just suggested the string and the shurikens!"

Jack gasped for air after the long arsed monolouge, happy to be breathing again after saying all those words.

"I'm still gonna kick your arse!" said Chuck.

"Spinning Death Round House kick!" he said, hoping that his attack was powerful enough to rip the kunai right out of the tree...which it wasn't. This was probably the dumbest thing he's ever done in his entire career.

You see, the end of the string was fixed to the tree, and couldn't move towards Chuck. Thus, when Chuck spun quickly and wrapped the sting tighter around himself, he moved towards the point at which the end of the strings were fixed, like a yoyo when you jerk it back up.

Amanda tried to warn him.

"WATCH OUT FOR THAT..."

WHAM!

"...tree,"

Chuck fell to the ground, and disappeared in a puff of smoke, along with all the weapons and the string Ryu had made.

"Wait...he was a Kage Bunshin?" said Ryu.

"No... it's more likely that he was disappearing, since he was summoned and all..." said Jack.

"But he was a regular person, even if he was summoned here!" said Amanda. "How could he just disappear like that?"

"Well," said Rama, jumping down from a tree. "He wasn't QUITE the real Chuck Norris,"

Jack jumped back. "How can you be here?" he said. "You're over there!"

Jack pointed to where Rama was waiting, with the two girls, and a beer drinking cap.

"Actually...that's a Kage Bunshin," said Rama. "Those two 'fangirls' annoy me...and I've got other reasons to avoid them. Now I could tell you deep, dark, horrible truth about why I don't want to be around them, or i could explain why the person you fought wasn't QUITE Chuck Norris,"

"Um...second one," said Jack.

"I agree with Jack," said Ryu.

"First one!" said Amanda.

"Sorry, you're outvoted," said Rama.

"I know," said Amanda, somewhat sadly and dejectedly, whilst giving Jack and Ryu puppy dog eyes unintentionally.

"I change my vote!" said Ryu, immediately.

"Must...resist...puppy dog eyes..." said Jack. "I change my vote too!"

Amanda's eyes widened, realizing for she'd manipulated them into getting her way, but not knowing how she'd done it.

Rama smiled. "TOO LATE! YOU ALREADY VOTED!" he said. "You see, that was sort of like an advanced Kage Bunshin of Chuck Norris. While it had his fighting abilities, attitudes, intelligence, good looks, memories, was made of his chakra, and didn't even know it was the real Chuck, it wasn't really Chuck himself. In fact, Chuck himself probably doesn't even know it was missing..."

"So... it wasn't really anywhere near as strong as Chuck?" said Amanda, her new-found self-esteem slightly dropping.

"And here I thought that we just took down the worlds most overrated actor," said Jack.

"And we were just fighting a kage bunshin..." said Ryu.

"Actually...the real Chuck can't do anything the fake Chuck couldn't do," said Rama. "Well, besides being summoned by me instantaniously,"

"Huh?" said all three genin.

"You see, the fake Chuck has every aspect of his personality, his fighing abilities, and his intelligence," said Rama. "It wouldn't fall into any trap that the real Chuck wouldn't fall into, nor would it be de-summoned by anything that wouldn't kill or knock out the real Chuck. So if the real Chuck had been here, you would probably have taken him down,"

The genin all smiled. They'd just taken down a perfect copy of a man that was one of the most powerful fighters known to man, and they'd done it in a short amount of time.

"So...why don't we all get something to eat?" said Rama. "Even though you technically failed the excersize,"

"Yeah...wait, what?" said Jack.

Rama held up a now-empty bag of popcorn. "I ate the last piece a short time after Chuck Norris stupidly spun himself into a tree,"

THUD!

They all hit the ground anime style.

Rama laughed. "Don't worry, you'll get better when we repeat the excersize tomorrow," he said.

"Nani?" said Jack.

Rama smiled. "Just kidding, I'm not that cruel. However, that test DID show me some of your individual abilities...though I didn't really see much of what Amanda's fighting abilities were,"

He smiled. "But I did see her use her brain, which is just as important," he said. "So...where would you guys like to go to eat as a team?"

"FREDO'S!!" said Jack, rather excitedly. "They make the best pizza in Konoha!"

Ryu nodded in agreement, though he wasn't quite the pizza enthusiast Jack was.

"What about you?" asked Rama, turning to Amanda.

"I've never been there...but I guess I'll try it," she said.

"Well, let's go then!" he said.

"Heck yeah!" said Jack.

Rama smiled. _Ryu's definately the close ranged fighter of the group, not to mention the one with the best aim by far, as if he has some sort of secret bloodline that allows him to see in a pattern similar to the byakugan...but that's madness of course; Amanda is the brains of the group, and has some rather physical features, as if she isn't quite human, and doesn't seem to have much in the way of ninjutsu, or taijutsu, though her brains make up for that; and then there's Jack, son of both of my old teammates, the ninjutsu type of the group, and most importantly of all, crazy one! The swordsman, the brainaic, and the loose cannon... this is quite the interesting team._

Jack suddenly smiled.

"What are you smiling about?" said Ryu.

"I just thought of something to add to the 'Chuck Norris facts," said Jack. "Chuck Norris doesn't watch out for that tree...the tree should watch out for Chuck Norris!"

**0000000000000000000000000000000**

**Spidey: Great work brain, i knew you could do it! **

**Brain: Yay! Now when do you plan on getting around to reading that book? **

**Spidey: When I stop being a liar! **

**Brain: I could tell your bowels to release...**

**Spidey: do you take Icha Icha? **

**Brain: No...that's your OTHER brain...**

**Spidey: Oh yeah... **

**Naruto: Am I gonna be in the next chapter? **

**Spidey: -grins- Well, you have been in the last two chapters, and you ARE the main character, so why not? **


	8. With Team 7 one day later

**-slams head through door- Here's Spidey! -goes to pull head out, but gets stuck- Dang it, this looked so much easier in The Shining! **

**Amanda: -sweat drops- Well, while we try to get Spidey's head out of the door, enjoy the chapter! **

Konoha, Training Ground 7, the day after Jack, Amanda, and Ryu completed Rama's two tests... (Law and Order SFX)

Naruto, Hinata, and Kenny...er...Sasuke were patiently waiting for their sensei. He had asked then to skip breakfast the day before, and they were eager to find out why he'd done so. And they were still waiting...but then...they kept waiting...and waiting...oh, and more waiting.

"WHERE HE HELL IS HE?" said Naruto, getting angry by this point.

"Chill, dumb dobe," said Sasuke.

"WHAT DID YOU JUST CALL ME?" said Naruto. "And did you say chill?"

"M-maybe he w-was on his w-way to the malt shop," said Hinata, joking a bit.

Naruto and Sasuke just stared at her.

"Hinata...YOU MADE A JOKE!" said Naruto.

"Wait, did She-dobe say something?" said Sasuke. "I was too busy thinking about killing methods to listen?"

Hinata blushed at Naruto's compliments...then heard what Sasuke said, and looked at her feet, ashamed of herself for existing.

"YOU HURT HER FEELINGS TEME! APPOLOGIZE!" said Naruto.

"Make me," said Sasuke, emo-ishly.

Before Naruto could shove his foot into Sasuke's anatomy in a painful way that probably wouldn't be considered healthy, or anatomically sound, Kakashi finally arrived.

"Sorry I'm late," said Kakashi. "I had to pull an angry kitten out of a flaming tree surrounded by molten hot lava, and return it to it's owners, who lived in the sewers of Konoha...almost got eaten by those damned gators,"

"LIAR!" Yelled Naruto, angrilly.

"I trust you all skipped breakfast like I asked you too?" said Kakashi.

"YUP! I was tempted, but I reminded myself that you didn't want us to eat lunch, most likely so you could teach us a cool jutsu!" said Naruto.

"Icharaku's ramen was closed today, wasn't it?" said Sasuke.

"MAYBE!" said Naruto.

"W-why did you want us to skip lunch?" said Hinata, curiously.

"We'll get to that later," said Kakashi. "Right now, I'd like to test you're skills,"

He pulled out two bells.

"The objective of this excersize is to get one of these bells. If you don't get a bell, you don't eat," said Kakashi.

"THAT'S WHY YOU TOLD US TO SKIP BREAKFAST! YOU EVIL EVIL MAN!" said Naruto.

"This test will determine whether or not you become Genin," said Kakashi, ignoring Naruto's outburst.

"Wait a second!" said Naruto. "Aren't we already Genin?"

"Y-yes, w-we passed the entrance exam, didn't we?" said Hinata.

"Oh, that was just to see who would make good genin candidates," said Kakashi.

"So what happens if we don't pass?" said Sasuke.

"You go back to the academy," said Kakashi.

"B-but theres only two bells!" said Hinata.

Kakashi grinned under his mask. "That simply means that only two of you will be able to get a bell, and only two of you will eat lunch," he said. "In theory...however, I don't think ANY of you are going to be getting a bell...especially Naruto, if he can't keep his emotions under control..."

As if to prove his point, he caught Naruto changed at him with a kunai.

Faster than you could blink, the kunai was pointed at the back of Naruto's head, held there by his own hand, which Kakashi was holding behind Naruto's head.

"Did I say you could start?" said Kakashi.

"Heh, sorry," said Naruto.

Kakashi threw Naruto back to the group.

"Ready...BEGIN!" he said.

Within' seconds, Hinata and Sasuke were gone.

_hmm, seems they've already become quite good at basic shinobi tactics, though that won't really help them much against me if they don't understand the excersize. Well, at least they've all mastered skills that my last team couldn't figure out, like concealment, stealth and tactical thinking..._ thought Kakashi.

"ALRIGHT, LET'S GO! JUST YOU AND ME!" said Naruto, standing out in the open, and getting into a fighting stance.

Kakashi sighed. _All of them except that one of course..._

**Will Naruto, Hinata and that one kid who's name is too unimportant for me to remember it pass Kakashi's test? Will Hinata be able to confess her feelings for Naruto? Will Naruto prove Kakashi wrong? Will I stop asking these stupid questions and post the damned chapter already? All of these Questions will be answered, next time on...**

**Legend of the Icy Hot Ninja! R&R **


	9. Underneath the wrong underneath

**A/N: I'm in a good mood, so here's another chapter of Legend of The Icy Hot Ninja! Enjoy...**

Naruto charged at Kakashi, attacking with everything he had. Hinata smiled, silently cheering for him, believing that just maybe he'd get one of the bells...but knowing he wouldn't. Sasuke rolled his eyes emo-ishly. "Dobe" he muttered.

"1000 YEARS OF DEATH!" yelled Kakashi, making a hand seal behind Naruto.

An extremely worried look covered Hinata's face, as Kakashi made the seal. She feared that Kakashi might be about to blow Naruto to pieces with some ninjutsu. She prepared to charge forward...

And Naruto went flying into a lake.

_He just poked him in the butt...I should have scene it coming...I guess I can only do the stupidest things for Naruto. _thought Hinata.

Suddenly, shuriken flew out of the lake at Kakashi, and Naruto jumped out of the water and attacked...and was easily defeated again.

"Naruto, a true ninja looked underneath the underneath," said Kakashi, to a battered Naruto.

"I'm trying!" he yelled, "BUT I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN! WHY ARE YOU TURNING US AGAINST EACHOTHER, ANYWAY?"

Hinata covered her ears as Naruto yelled louder than usual.

_Even he doesn't usually yell THIS loud! And why is he yelling instead of attacking...oooh, Naruto, you are a genious! _thought Hinata, as she saw Naruto's plan put into action.

Several Kage Bunshin's ran from the water at Kakashi.

"An S-rank jutsu...impressive," said Kakashi. "But you still won't defeat me with that jutsu,"

"Oh won't I?" said Naruto, smiling.

Suddenly, several Narutos jumped onto Kakashi from behind.

_Naruto yelled to keep Kakashi from hearing the clones sneaking up behind him, and the clones jumping from the water kept him from discovering THAT deception as well, till the moment the clones got behind Kakashi-sensei! I knew I loved Naruto for a reason! _Thought Hinata.

"Its like you said Kakashi-sensei," said Naruto, as if he'd heard Hinata's inner monolouge. He then jumped in the air, and threw a punch at Kakashi's face.

"Look underneath the under...HUH?" Naruto's fist collided with the face of one of his kage bunshin's, causing confusion.

"A henge, huh?" said Naruto. "Well, that won't work since we already know where you are!"

Suddenly, all the clones attacked the clone that was sitting where Kakashi had been, which eventually disappeared in a puff of smoke.

"Huh?" said Naruto. "So...managed to switch places, huh? Well, that can also be easily remedied!"

Suddenly, all of Naruto's clones disappered in a puff of smoke, revealing...Naruto, who was standing alone out in the open.

"Dang it...I keep forgetting he's smarter than me," said Naruto, sighing.

However, he noticed something on the ground, by a tree: a bell.

"Ha! He must have dropped it when he escaped from me!" said Naruto, walking towards the bell.

Hinata, seeing the obvious trap, tried to stop him.

"Naruto! Don't go near that bell!" she yelled.

"Huh?" said Naruto, but it was too late, as he'd already stepped into the trap.

He soon found himself dangling upside down, with a rope around his ankle.

Kakashi walked by and picked up the bell.

"A true shinobi doesn't let himself get caught in simple traps like this," said Kakashi. "Attacking me with the kage bunshin was a good tactic, but you still haven't been looking underneath the underneath,"

Two shuriken shot out of nowhere towards Kakashi, and hit...a log.

"Damnit!" said Sasuke.

_A kawarami! Thats how he escaped Naruto! But where is he now? And where did he find that log...wait, wasn't there a log right next to me?_ thought Hinata.

Suddenly, she turned towards where the log was, but it was gone! She quickly put her back to the tree that she'd been hiding behind, and got into a gentlefist stance.

"Ah...you're a smart one," said Kakashi. "But you failed to look up!"

Hinata saw Kakasahi in the tree above her, and reached for a shuriken, but the world around her suddenly changed, and Kakashi melted into liquid.

"What the..." she started to say, before she saw Sasuke on the ground, with senbon sticking out of him.

"Help me...Hinata..." he said.

"E-even if you were really Sasuke, I w-wouldn't help you," she said.

Suddenly, Sasuke disappered, and was replaced by Naruto, also injured.

"A-as if N-naruto-kun would go down that easily!" said Hinata. "You're going to have to do better than that, Kakashi-sensei!"

"Very good," said the voice of Kakashi, from behind Hinata. "But I already got what I wanted,"

He hit Hinata gently on the back of her head, knocking her unconcious.

Suddenly, he picked her up, and jumped, avoiding a huge fireball.

"Finally, Dobe and Doberella are out of the way," said Sasuke. "I'm gonna get those bells now!"

"You nearly just killed your own teammate," said Kakashi.

"Yes...aren't you proud?" said Sasuke. "I already figured out what was underneath the underneath: we must be willing to betray our teammates, to get those bells!"

"Sasuke, I see no bell in your hands," said Kakashi.

"True," said Sasuke. "But I shall soon have them!"

Sasuke charged at Kakashi, attacking him with Taijutsu.

Kakashi gently put down Hinata, and engaged Sasuke in a battle of Taijutsu...while reading Icha Icha of course.

While this was happening, Hinata woke up, and saw Naruto, already free of the rope, heading towards the place where Kakashi kept the lunches.

She remembered Kakashi's words from earlier: look underneath the underneath. Then it hit her: The point of the excersize wasn't to get the bells, it was to work together as a team.

She tackled Naruto, keeping him away from the lunches.

"N-naruto-kun, I've figured out the point of the excersize!" she said. "We only have a few minutes left, and we have to get Sasuke and regroup!"

"But he's busy fighting..." started Naruto.

Suddenly, Sasuke crashed into the ground next to him.

"...never mind," said Naruto. "So what's the plan?"

"What plan?" said Sasuke, before turning to Hinata. "If you think you're going to succeed by teaming up with the dobe to get Kakashi sensei and leaving me without a bell, you're wrong! You'd have a MUCH better chance if you teamed up with me!"

"SHUT THE HELL UP SASUKE! YOU'RE PART OF HER PLAN TOO!" said Naruto.

"And why should I work with you two, when I know that one of us will be left without a bell?" said Sasuke.

"Because that's not the point of the excersize..." Hinata started to say.

"Don't you see?" said Sasuke. "The point of the excersize isn't to get the bells, it's to betray your teammates to get them! It's not to depend on anyone but yourself! It's to get what you want no matter what you have to do to get it..."

"BAKA! SHUT UP AND LISTEN TO HINATA-CHAN!" said Naruto, slapping Sasuke.

"Thank you, Naruto," said Hinata. "And Sasuke, the point of the excersize is not to betray your teammates, but to work with them to achieve your goal. It makes more sense that they would want us to be able to work with people that we hate to accomplish a mission..."

"How do you know so much, Ms. Smarta..." said Sasuke, before getting slapped again by Naruto.

"Because there aren't any two-man genin cells," said Hinata, as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

Sasuke and Naruto both face-faulted.

_I can't believe I didn't realize that! _they both thought, at the same time.

"So..." said Sasuke, swallowing his pride. "What's the plan?"

**A/N: What is Hinata's plan?** **Will it work? Why do I ask so many questions? All of these will be answered in the next chapter of...LEGEND OF THE ICY HOT NINJA! Please R&R**


	10. This is how they got the damned bells

**A/N: Sorry for the long wait, I've had writers block for a while now. Enjoy.**

Kakashi pulled out his precious novel as he waited for the genin. He hadn't been attacked for a while, and guessed that the three of them would be working together when the next assault came.

_Perhaps they've gotten the point of the excersize..._ he thought...right before Naruto jumped out in front of him.

"This time, I'm gonna win!" he said.

Kakashi sighed, exasperatedly.

"Naruto, once again, you STILL don't get the point," said Kakashi, not looking away from Icha Icha Paradise as he spoke.

"You're goin' down! Dattebayo!" said Naruto, charging forward, making multiple shadow clones as he ran.

Kakashi sighed, and began dispatching the clones with his taijutsu, while still reading his book.

"Is this the best you can do?" he asked, boredly. "You did MUCH better last time you tried,"

Naruto just smiled.

--

"Are you ready?" asked Hinata.

"Just do it already," said Sasuke. "Although I have no idea how someone of your size and strength is going to throw me..."

"You're in the range of my divination," said Hinata.

"What's that supposed to..."

"KAITEN!"

At that moment, Sasuke was sent flying at his sensei.

--

Naruto panted tiredly, as Kakashi took down the last of his shadow clones.

"So, is that honestly all there is to your plan, or are you going to suprise me?" said Kakashi.

"I like to think you'll be suprised," said Naruto, who was still grinning.

"What are you grinning abou--oof," said Kakashi, at the same moment that Sasuke slammed directly into him. However, before the Uchiha could grab the bells, Kakashi managed to throw him off and roll away, getting up in a fighting stance.

"Clever, but it'll take more than that to get these two bells," said Kakashi, not noticing where his foot was. However, he did notice one second later when he was suddenly turned upside down and beaten senseless by three twelve year olds.

"I got the bells!" said Hinata, after a few minutes of hitting Kakashi in the face.

"Gimme a second," said Sasuke, who was busy taking out his misplaced aggression on his sensei, before he stopped and turned to his other two teammates. "Ok, I'm done,"

--

Minutes later...

Kakashi watched as his students ate the lunches he'd prepared for them.

"So...are we gonna learn cool jutsu now?" said Naruto.

Kakashi laughed.

"HA HA HA, HAHAHA...no," said the jonin, before turning his attention back to his book. "But you'll most likely learn at least one jutsu from me at some point during your training,"

"As long as that jutsu involves creating large, gaping holes in my enemies, I'll be satisfied..." said Sasuke, in his 'Itachi must die' voice.

"...Ok..." said Kakashi, backing away from his student.

Sasuke didn't notice his three teammates sweatdropping at his behavior...

**A/N: Yes, I know, it seems cruel to leave you with such a short chapter after such a long wait, but guess what? The next chapter is coming shortly! **

**Jack: Am I gonna be in the next chapter? **

**Spidey: Of course you are! You haven't appeared for at least three straight chapters! I'm pretty sure the fans miss you...well, they miss Amanda and Ryu anyway; you haven't become popular yet.**

**Jack: Well maybe if I'd gotten a chance to use my summons during the one fight scene i've gotten so far...**

**Spidey: patience, you're time will come soon! R&R**


	11. One man, one cat, many injuries

**A/N: See, told ya I'd be back with another chapter shortly! But you didn't believe me, did ya? Enjoy!**

One week after the last chapter...

Jack, Amanda, and Ryu dashed acrossed the roof tops in pursuit of their target. It has alluded them well for something as small and harmless looking as it was, but they were closing the gap.

Their target: a small cat, with grey fur, and a bow on it's head.

"This is the cat from hell," said Jack, panting slightly. "I mean, come ON! Naruto's team was chasing it just yesterday, and it already escaped again!"

"When they finally caught it, Naruto was covered in scratch marks, as were Sasuke and Sakura," said Ryu. "We should be careful not to underestimate this kitty,"

The cat suddenly stopped on the building right next to the one they were on, and turned to face them, as if daring them to come after it.

"Looks like in finally gave up," said Jack, grinning as he jumped acrossed the gap between the buildings. Suddenly, Ryu and Amanda's eyes widened.

"Jack, no!" yelled Ryu.

"Don't do it!" yelled Amanda.

But it was too late. Jack's eyes widened as he too realized his error; moments before he landed, the cat dashed off, leaving Jack a nice little suprise: Jack's foot landed in a pile of cat droppings.

"Damned cat," said Jack, clenching his fist. "THESE WERE MY NEW SHOES!"

Jack dashed off after the cat, enraged.

The cat looked back, and Jack swore he saw it grin malovently. It suddenly jumped over the edge of the building, and ran down the fire escape.

Jack, however, did not have such good timing. He jumped over the gap before he could stop himself, and looked back at the fire escape as he jumped, causing him to become distracted. His feet suddenly hit the ledge of the other building, and before he could balance himself, he fell off, his head hitting a windowsill, and the edge of the fire escape on the way down. He landed in a pile of garbage.

The cat walked up and meowed, innocently.

"Hello kitty...you're about to do something cartoonishly evil that causes me tons of pain right now, aren't you?" said Jack, groaning.

He swore he saw the cat nod...right before the garbage truck came by, and he was lifted up and throw into the back with the pile of garbage he was on.

"Help..." he said, before he was dumped in the back of the truck, and sealed inside with about a ton of garbage. He looked around, but everything was dark, and he could barely see. However, he suddenly saw a light above him.

"I'm free!" he said...right before even more garbage fell upon him and the doors above him closed again. He felt the truck start to move.

"Damn this mission, damn the Hokage for letting that stupid woman hire shinobi for this mission, damn that stupid woman for letting that stupid cat run away, and DAMN THAT STUPID CAT FOR DUMPING ME INTO THIS STUPID GARBAGE TRUCK!" he yelled, angrily. "SUMMONING NO JUTSU!"

--

The cat watched with satisfaction as the garbage truck drove away, and raised it's paw to wave at the foolish shinobi that had tried to bring it back to the crazy lady, though it knew he probably wouldn't see it mocking him. It started to walk away, when it heard a loud puff of smoke, followed by the sound of metal being ripped open! It turned around to see something that made it make another pile of cat crap on the ground behind it!

A HUGE dinosaur that resembled the summon that had made the Williams clan famous, officially named Gojira by the first person to summon him, also known as Godzilla by the people that for some reason couldn't pronounce Gojira.

This summon wasn't anywhere near Gojira's height, but was still fairly large, as the top half of him was sticking out of the top of the garbage truck, as if it had exploded into existance inside the vehical that had been too small to contain him. However, that wasn't what made the cat involuntarilly release it's bowels; standing on top of the summon, looking pissed, was the shinobi it had tricked into the truck, and he looked pissed.

"Hello kitty," said Jack. "Ya miss me?"

"So, what do ya need, boss?" said the huge summon.

"Oh, I just needed to break out of that dump truck, Gonzilla, you can go home now," said Jack, jumping off the summon and landing in front of the cat.

"Oh, alright, I'll see you later then," said Gonzilla, disappearing in a puff of smoke.

"I have plenty more where he came from," said Jack.

The cat involuntarily made another brick on the sidewalk, before running away like hell.

And Jack ran after it...

--

"Jack, you ok? we heard you yelling for help on the radio, but then the signal was cut off as if you were encased in metal or something. Do you copy, over?" said Rama's voice on the radio.

"Yeah, tango was able to trick me into getting trapped in a dump truck, but I managed to get out.I'm in pursuit; tango is heading down mainstreet, over," said Jack into the radio as he ran.

"Roger that, we'll try to head it off, over and out," said Rama's voice.

Suddenly, Amanda and Ryu landed on the ground several feet ahead of the cat. Amanda prepared to trap the cat in a genjutsu, while Ryu used his bloodline to create what looked like a straw made of bamboo, but both Jack and the cat seemed to recognize that the straw was in fact a blow dart gun.

Before they could catch the cat, however, it ran into an narrow alley, narrowly avoiding a tranq dart.

Jack, who was closest, ran into the alley after it.

"You're not getting away this time!" said Jack, who was gaining on the animal.

--

"Come on, after it!" said Ryu, running towards the alley, before Amanda stopped him.

"If that cat gets past Jack somehow, then we should stay here to catch it when it comes out," she said. "Besides, Jack can probably handle the cat on his own..."

"I wouldn't bet on it," said Rama, from behind them. "This may sound stupid, and crazy, but that cat's owner...enrolled it in a martial arts dojo...for cats,"

"Wait, do they even have those?" said Ryu, perplexed.

"Ryu, some people thing that pets deserve to be treated like people, and that they WANT to be treated like people, though some of the things they make their pets do is unintentionally cruel and the pet suffers," said Rama. "There are pet clothes, pet weddings, pet schools, and even pet weddings. It was only a matter of time before some idiot made a pet martial arts dojo,"

"So? It's not like the cat actually learned anything that'll help it against a trained shinobi..." said Amanda.

"Did you see Naruto after he tried to grab the cat?" said Rama. "Or seen a cornered stray cat claw the hell out of someone? Cats and dogs have adaptations that give them certain advangates over humans, and all animals fight when they're cornered,"

"And at the moment, that cat is between Jack and a dead end!" said Amanda. "But still, Jack is a shinobi, he could kill that cat if he wanted to..."

"Could he, Amanda, could he?" said Rama. "In fact, could YOU kill a cat for that matter?"

Amanda opened her mouth to respond, but stopped, and shook her head.

"I didn't think so," said Rama. "And the mission requires Jack to capture the cat alive, so he couldn't kill it even if he could ignore his conscience... but like you said, he IS a shinobi,"

Rama pulled out a scroll.

"...but every shinobi could use a little back up now and then, though he'll be fine if he doesn't try to approach while it's terrified..."

--

Jack walked towards the cat, smirking as he saw that there was no where for it to go, and nothing for it to jump onto. It stretched out it's back, unsheathed it's claws, wagged it's tail, and mewed in warning; all things that a cat does to tell you that it is NOT a good idea to get closer to it. Most people, even if they'd never had a cat, could recognize those signs, as we all have a part of our brain that tells us to back the hell away from something. Jack, however, was too pissed to listen to that part of his brain.

"Ok, be a good kitty...I'm not going to hurt you..." he said, slowly closing in, and trying to hide the fact that he WANTED to wring the cat's little neck for all the trouble it caused him, though he could never bring himself to do it.

His voice seemed to calm the cat down a bit, assuring it that the idiotic shinobi didn't want to hurt it, though it still showed it's teeth and claws. If Jack had been smarter, he would have continued this, and kept a safe distance; then called his teamates on the radio for back up.

Well, maybe that was his plan, but what Jack said next kinda ruined that for him.

"I'm just gonna bring you back to your mommy, who I'm sure is VERY worried about you..."

That was when the cat hissed, and lunged forward, viciously latching onto Jack's leg with it's claws. The idiot genin tried to pry the cat off his leg, but it managed to climb up, and somehow got on his back, where it held on with it's front claws, and made several claw marks on his back with the other two legs.

Jack bent over, and managed to grab the cat, and throw it off him, causing it to land in front of him.

"Listen kitty, you don't wanna do this!" he said. "It's not easy being a stray! And you don't wanna murder a human, or animal control will hunt you down like an animal! you're making a mistake!" Jack pleaded, but the cat was too enraged to listen.

It leapt back up at Jack, but this time he caught it's two front legs with his hands, and held it back.

"ooh, now who's got the advantage?" said Jack. "Sorry, you missed out on something called thumbs...ow, stop that! not my face!"

The cat had begun using it's hind legs to pimp slap Jack's face, making several parallel claw marks. The cat then used its hind legs to grab Jack's throat, preparing to slash it!

However, it's attention was redirected by an annoyingly confident voice.

"Let the kid go...or taste the roundhouse kick!" yelled Chuck Norris.

The cat squirmed away from Jack, and turned to the celebrity, glaring at him with it's beady little eyes.

"Oh no...not you..." said Chuck, before screaming like a little girl and turning his back.

However, the cat used that opportunity to jump onto Chuck's back, knocking him to the ground, causing him to scream like a little girl and tremble with fear.

--

Rama sighed as he heard the sound of a disturbingly femanin scream followed by a lound puff of smoke.

"Why do I even bother summoning that idiot?" he said, sighing. "Get ready, it's probably heading this way,"

--

The cat completely forgot about Jack, and ran towards the other end of the alley, and towards it's freedom... right before getting grabbed from behind by a small, puppy sized flying reptile with three horns coming out of it's head.

"Summons," said Jack, grinning. "What can't they do?"

Suddenly, he frowned.

"Wait a second, why didn't i just summon Nador in the first place? Damn it, I always think of these things after I try to do things the hard way," he said, sweatdropping.

--

Ryu smiled as one of Jack's summons, the chibi version of Rodan that Jack called Nador, flew towards them, and tossed the troublesome cat into the cage.

Amanda quickly closed said cage, and locked it. She then looked in at the cat.

"You caused us ALOT of trouble," she said to the cat...which she SWORE stuck it's tounge out at her.

She then saw the chibi pterranodan in her face, and jumped back.

"The hell is that thing?!" she said, pointing at Nador. "It looks like a midgit pteradactyl!"

"My name is Nador," said the small dinosaur, as if offended. "And I'm a pterranodan! Not a pterradactyl! There's a difference!"

"He's one of Jack's summons," said Rama. "Though I have to say, I didn't expect Jack to have masted the summoning jutsu just yet,"

"It was easy," said Jack. "All I had to do was sign three scrolls in blood, and summon the three boss summons...well, I also had to go through tests with two of them, though the first one was satisfied with just being summoned..."

"Wait, three scrolls?" said Amanda. "that would be...three different types of summons...what can you summon?"

Ryu rolled his eyes and sighed, knowing how much Jack liked to talk about his summons.

"Oh, well, the first one I got was the Mothra scroll," said Jack. "She was hard to summon, but not as hard as the other two,"

"Really?" said Amanda, now genuinely interested.

"Yeah, the second one was Rodan...he was not only difficult to summon, but he had a rather hard test to pass before he'd serve me," said Jack. "I had to hold on to his back while he flew really fast... I fell off when he increased his speed to mach 5..."

"Wait, you failed the test?" said Amanda.

"no, but I thought i did," said Jack. "but he told me afterward that the Mach 5 portion of the test was just for fun... Rodan can be a real arsehole when he wants to... and he always wants to..."

Rama laughed, having met the ornery pterranodan himself back when he was Ash's teammate.

"Yeah, that describes him alright," he said.

Jack stared at him for a moment, then sighed.

"I keep forgetting you knew my dad," he said, shaking his head.

Rama laughed.

"I've your dad AND your mom AND most of your dad's summons for YEARS kid," he said.

"What's the last summon?" said Amanda, curiously.

"Gojira, also known as Godzilla amoung people that for some reason can't pronounce Gojira," said Jack. "His test was easier than Rodan's, but he was EXTREMELY hard to summon, as I could only make a few tries at a time before I had to rest cause it took alot of chakra to summon him. After that, I just had to survive for an hour in one of his stomachs and I was done,"

"Wait, you had to survive an hour inside one of his stomachs?" said Amanda. "That sounds...gross,"

"It is," said Ryu. "Jack once had me spend a day in Gonzilla's stomach after I lost a bet... of course, I kinda deserved it after that prank I pulled on him..."

Jack was completely silent for a moment, as if waiting for a flashback to happen, then spoke.

"Yeah, but you were in no real danger; Gojira, along with all of his sons that are large enough to swallow a human being, have complete control over their metabolism, meaning..." he started to say.

"They can control exactly how acidic their digestive fluids are and whether or not they're hungry?" said Amanda.

"Um...yeah..." said Jack, not expecting her to figure it out on her own that easily.

"Heh heh, she's smarter than you two boys thought, isn't she?" said Rama, grinning. "Well, this pointless dialouge has gone on long enough, lets get to the Hokage's office with the cat before it escapes again..."

--

The four shinobi watched as the morbidly obese woman hugged the cat...or tried to squeeze the life out of it; they couldn't really tell which.

"Heh heh, that's what that damned cat gets for using me as a cat-rack," said Jack, under his breath to his teammates.

"To be honest, I feel sorry for the damned thing," said Ryu.

"Have some sympathy Jack," said Amanda. "If you were that cat, you wouldn't want to go back either,"

"True...but it's not the one covered in claw marks right now," said Jack.

--

"Hokage-sama, I believe my team is ready for a higher ranked mission," said Rama, after his team had been payed, and his students and the cat lady had left. "We've completed the required amount of D-ranked missions, and Team Kakashi was just given a C-rank yesterday,"

"Well, it just happens that I have a mission that's perfect for your team!" said the Sandaime, handing Rama a scroll. "You are to escort a wealthy bandit and his daughter from here to their home village; it should be about a week's worth of travel,"

"Thank you, Hokage-sama, we won't let you down," said Rama bowing.

"I just hope those three genin of yours are ready for this mission," said the Sandaime. "Personally, I'd rather they do a few more D-ranked missions, but that's up to you,"

Rama smiled, and bowed.

"Don't worry, my genin are definately prepared for this mission," he said, walking out. "It's only C-ranked, what could go wrong?"

Those were famous last words...

**A/N: Well, that wraps up this chapter! R&R**


End file.
